High Conflict 201 with Curtis Toler
Curtis Toler was, in many ways, born into conflict, and by the time he became a young man, he had begun to perpetuate it himself as a leader of one of Chicago’s most notorious street gangs.
His lived experience is worlds apart from that of most congressional leaders and staff. And yet, when he joined Care Lab in Washington D.C. for our first “201” event - neither he nor the Senate Chiefs he spoke with flinched at the suggestion that they have something in common.
Curtis, the gang members he works with as a violence interrupter, and leaders on Capitol Hill all know what it’s like to be locked into “High Conflict” - conflicts in which opposing sides have demonized the other beyond rational logic and from which it feels like there is no escape.
In a dialogue with moderator Amanda Ripley, Curtis spoke about moments of “saturation;” instances in which conflict has reached such a fever pitch that it must either be intentionally de-escalated or will reach some sort of violent breaking point.
Resonating with this idea, one Chief commented, “many of us have felt ready to step back from high conflict.” But, without a clear apparatus or process for doing so, it can be very difficult.
Curtis described how he works with gang members to identify intervention points and develop “non-aggression pacts.” One example he shared was around a public park frequented by many members’ children and partners. While the opposing gangs in question were far from reaching peace and harmony, they agreed to make the park off limits to violence, and thus cracked open the door to trust-building and peace-making.
The Chiefs mused on the deep challenges of creating a non-aggression pact in Washington; what it might look like to create a rapid response apparatus for de-escalating toxic conflicts on the Hill; how to increase skills of conflict mediation; and how to apply these concepts to polarized groups of constituents.
The conversation also brought up two big elephants in the room. First, the lingering trauma and feelings surrounding January 6, and the difficulty of moving forward without any process of reconciliation. Second, the question of bringing conflict de-escalation skills to everyone who we most urgently need to begin using them.
Curtis urged Chiefs not to be discouraged by the fact that the people in the room for the conversation were not those who might be in most need of an intervention. Beginning with those who are ready to hear it is always how it starts, he said. john powell, CARE LAB expert speaker and attendee, endorsed this tactic, affirming that it is important to start with “short bridges” before tackling “long bridges.”
At Care Lab, we are committed to working alongside our participants and experts to continue deepening these skills and expanding our audience. As more cohorts complete our Three Dinners series, we onboard them into ongoing 201 programming designed to continue building the muscles of strong leadership, conflict management, listening, and de-escalation.
It is no small task, but we share the sentiments of a participant who remarked after the evening with Curtis. “I’m ready to start. I’m ready to jump in.”